Get Clear on What You Really Want

There is an old saying that ‘you can’t hit a target you can’t see’ that explains why this first idea is so important. Don’t fall into the ‘I just want to be happy’ trap. Figure out what exactly happiness means for you.

When a person comes for coaching, they often find themselves stuck at this point: they want something ‘different’ yet they haven’t really cleared up what. When they are at this point, I spend as much time as needed to find the right answer for them.

Maybe you could start by writing a huge list of everything you want and trimming it down to the most exciting and important items. Eventually you will find one or two things that standout as most desirable for you. Write these onto a piece of paper that you can keep in your wallet or purse and look at it whenever you can. This has already started the powerful process of attracting what you want straight to you!

Realize How Much you Already Have

We are all already in possession of a high standard of living, and sometimes it’s important to get some perspective about it. Have you ever stayed with friends or distant relatives and been shocked by the way they live? Often we come home from these experiences and appreciate everything we have so much more.

We can create that same perspective at anytime if we choose to. Here’s a suggestion: sit down and write a list of everything that is going right in your life. List every detail you can think of: from ‘being alive and breathing’ to ‘getting paid more than last year’. There is a great reason to do this, besides just the obvious warm fuzzy feeling it gives you. It makes you realize that you are already achieving a lot of what you want automatically. It makes you feel a sense of wealth in your life, and begins attracting more to you.

Break Free from your Addictions

This idea isn’t a sermon about coffee, chocolate or reality TV; it’s more serious than those addictions. This idea is about addiction to your goals and future achievements.

Most of us wouldn’t think we were addicted to anything in our lives. Yet most of us have small addictions in our lives that we may not even be aware of. The symptoms of addiction are part of most of our daily lives.

Think about it: what does the ‘addict’ crave? They crave what they haven’t got. Whenever they get their addiction filled, they are happy for a short while, and then the craving starts allover again. We all fall into this trap with things such as money, love, respect and freedom.We all obsess and complain that ‘we haven’t got enough’

Now if obsession about things brought us everything we wanted, I would suggest exactly the opposite here...but think about it: how often do you ever get exactly what you crave? When you are single, you can never find the right person; yet when you’re in a relationship the potential is all around you! Same thing with money: the more you obsess about earning extra, the harder it becomes to get. Yet when you have a reserve in savings, it seems you get better salary offers, new business opportunities, etc.

This is because being addicted to an outcome is a natural repellant for success. Obsessing,demanding and craving an outcome doesn’t do anything except cause you pain and frustration.

The secret to attracting what you want isn’t to block your addictions; rather you must upgrade them to a preference. Instead of obsessing, think that having your goal is a preferred way to be. This means loosening your ties from your results a little and accepting variations in your plans. If things don’t work out this week or this month, it’s no big deal. Be patient, be persistent – but don’t be addicted!

If you can do this, and feel that you ‘prefer’ to have your success instead of demand it (or obsess about it), your likelihood of getting it will greatly increase.

Clear the Clutter

It’s difficult to feel inspired when you’re surrounded by mess, clutter and old possessions.Things like old clothes, old furniture, old books and magazines all drain your attractive energy and make you feel stuck. Often we hold onto them due to sentimental value, yet they don’t really hold value at all.

If you know you are like this, take some time to spring clean (even if it’s the middle of winter or summer) and see what a difference it makes. Often when you feel better about your immediate surroundings (your desk or bedroom) you perform better – and attract new opportunities to you.

Make Space in Your Mind

I was having lunch with a friend one day and we started talking about relationships and finding the right partner. Even though she was now in a fantastic relationship, she told me that for several years previously she had been single, and often thought she’d become ‘terminally single’. I asked her how she finally got over this awful stage. She told me that she realized she had to ‘make space in her mind’ for a new relationship.

I was really intrigued by her idea, and asked to explain. She said that for years her mind had been full of old thoughts, old relationships and worries about how to find the right person.‘Then one day’ she said ‘ I just decided I’d had enough, and decided to clear out all the old junk and make some room in my head’. She told me that in the next month she met the right man and they have been together ever since.

We can use this same technique for ourselves if we feel stuck at a plateau in our lives. Stop and listen to the self-talk and silly ideas you hold in your mind. If you’re not sure what they may be, ask a good friend or your coach to tell you what you always talk about. Then, once you know, make a conscious effort to clear them out and put a big ‘for lease’ sign in their place. Keep the space blank and at-the-ready for new things. You will be surprised how much can change when you do this; it’s like a spring clean of the mind!

Think Abundance

Probably the worst thing that can get you down is the feeling of lack. It can really hold you down and make you feel like you are missing out.

The best way to get past this feeling is take on an attitude of abundance. This means thinking that the world has limitless opportunities and they are all waiting for you.

When you live with an attitude of abundance, you really feel that the world is a generous, giving place, and that you receive more than enough for yourself. Enough love, money, freedom, respect, whatever it may be for you. Very soon after you adopt this attitude you’ll find that the abundance starts to flow directly to you!

Act as if You Have Already Succeeded

Most people who achieve anything significant in their lives have lived through a time of doubt,frustration and despair. Unfortunately, this is often a prelude to success that we all must face.

One of the best methods for reducing the amount of hardship you suffer is to always act as if you have already succeeded. This is also called ‘back from the future’ thinking. You project yourself forward and imagine how you would feel if you were already in possession of  your goals. Then you hold that successful feeling and you keep it with you during your challenging times.

When you finally do achieve what you want, you won’t seem surprised by success, rather just glad that your feelings have been validated.

To Sum it Up

In my experience as a coach, it’s become more and more obvious to me how much people create their own future with their actions and their beliefs.

It’s a truth in life that we always get what we expect. Everything you have or do now is a result of your first having ‘expected’ it to happen. If you take some of these great ideas and expect them to help you get what you want, you will have some great success, often sooner than you think